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[nicola-slee]

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 

[Chris]

Schizophrenia beats being alone!

[Chris]

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die

[nicola-slee]

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

[Chris]

If you mix flour, water and salt you get glue.
If you add eggs, baking powder and oil, you get cake.
Where does the glue go? 

[nicola-slee]

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

[nicola-slee]

Always remember you are unique....just like everyone else!

[Chris]

Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of cheques.

[Chris]

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried 

[nicola-slee]

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

[Chris]

I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.

[Chris]

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

[nicola-slee]

catching up on my last few days off!! 

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

[nicola-slee]

A day without sunshine is like, night.

[nicola-slee]

Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.